Keep in the Jerk
by 524CarZ
Summary: AU! Gilbert finds out one of Matthew's biggest secrets, so he forces Matthew to do something he knew was insane. All Matthew needs to do is accept to keep Gil from being deported. The reason for blackmailing him? Let's find out! PruCan, GerIta, FrUK, and Spamano. Warning inside.
1. Chapter I: Asking

**Disclaimer: Which do I own? A French Dictionary or Hetalia? Yes, the French Dictionary.**

**_Edited on Nov. 8, 2012/Dec. 1, 2012_**

**Warning(s): T(Strongly) for Language, Cross Dressing, Mature Conversations, Disturbing Themes (No Smut...) **

* * *

"…Maple, Maple…oh heck, SHIT!"

Matthew cursed at himself as he ran down the sidewalk, not caring if he bumped into anyone in particular. As he ran, he earned a couple of groans from the people he had bumped into previously, causing him to shout out apologies several times. The crowd was busier than ever and Matthew was already going to be late for work.

Luckily, the building he worked in was nearby, but unfortunately, his feet were beginning to wear out and he was losing too much energy since he had skipped breakfast and was still a little sleepy. Matthew noticed his backpack begin to move and a whine, so he shifted the weight of his baggage to his other hip and continued to try his best to run faster.

Soon enough, Matthew took a turn and entered a building that had the words "APH Gazette" printed above the entrance in reddish orange with a picture of a newspaper with an island on it. Sweat dripped down Matthew's face, despite entering an air-conditioned area due to exhaustion and the temperature outside.

From afar, Matthew could see an elevator open with very little people inside. He looked down and saw that he was running on slippery marble floor tiles. He sighed and stopped running in his spot, letting his body slide across the lobby and was able to enter the elevator. But much to his expense, as he slid past the metal doors that were closing, the cold metal had hit his forearms.

He stopped sliding as soon as he got into the elevator and as soon as he stopped, he cringed in pain, rubbing his upper arms. The man next to Matthew who had dark brown hair and a stray curl on the left side of his head, similar to Matthew checked his watch and turned to the Canadian.

"Right on time, Matthew; damn, if you weren't able to get in, your fucking arm would have been ripped off." He said.

"Y-Yeah…thanks for reminding me, Lovino." Matthew panted as he fixed his posture. His backpack began to move again and the blonde shook . Lovino glared at the luggage, but decided to shrug it off.

Matthew Williams was just your ordinary column editor who worked for the newspaper "APH Gazette" which was famous for its bits of humorous trivia about world history. His life there wasn't exactly what everyone liked since he was always ignored and was treated like a spirit lingering around just to find someone who could notice them. However, there were only a few people who didn't forget about Matthew. One particular person being a nuisance to Matthew's life.

The elevator door opened and Matthew dashed out, leaving Lovino inside. His loud footsteps could be heard from a mile away as he ran towards the office room's entrance. He stared at his digital wrist watch and saw that he was one minute safe. He passed through the arch and smiled in relief.

"I made it! Safe, Bitc-!"

"NOW!"

As the blonde ran through the arch, he felt his knee pull a rope that blocked the entrance, and before he knew it, a metal bucket of water went falling on his head, ruining his mood and humiliating him.

The room was filled by soft chuckles, but Matthew could only hear a certain man's obnoxious and unique laugh fill the air. Matthew removed the bucket from his head and looked around to find an albino cackling his head off from his cubicle.

"KESESE~! Sorry that I didn't leave any hot water for your bath, Williams!" He shouted in between his laughs.

Matthew could feel his blood boil at the sight of the albino laughing his ass off. He had known that guy ever since he attended college in Germany and he never changed. How sad…

The albino's name was Gilbert Beilschmidt.

He had always bullied Matthew ever since they had met. Matthew has tolerated the Prussian's pranks for years and when they were about to graduate, Matthew finally thought that he was going to be able to escape from Gilbert's "make-Matthew's-school-life-a-living-hell" plan since he would be returning to America. Unfortunately, they had reunited inside the APH Gazette building.

Matthew had to slap himself about four times to make sure he wasn't having a nightmare, but that chain of Kesesesese's snapped him back to reality.

"Hey! Beilschmidt! Boss needs to talk to you!" A voice called out, snapping Matthew out of his thoughts. Gilbert stopped laughing and shrugged as he trudged to the boss' office.

Matthew sighed, any of the boss' lectures won't help change Gilbert's attitude. Matthew lost all hope in that happening. The Canadian shook his head to shake off a little water and limped to his office.

Once he reached his office, Matthew gently put down his red backpack and plopped down on his computer chair. His suit was soggy and whenever he touched a single piece of paper, it would leave a wet mark. Matthew rested his nape on the top of his back rest and stared at the beige ceiling.

"What a way to start a day…" he groaned silently before hearing a few knocks on his door. Matthew sat up and turned to face the door to see Francis holding out a clean towel.

Francis Bonnefoy was one of Gilbert's best friends ever since High School. When he and Matthew had met in college, they had gotten along and soon became friends, but he couldn't show Gilbert that he was friends with Matthew. The Canadian didn't mind since Francis wasn't really his close friend.

"_Mathieu_, here…" Francis said sincerely. How unusual…usually he had a seductive tone or he would start grinding on everything as if everything around him turns him on.

"_Merci*_, Francis…" Matthew replied as he took the towel and started drying his hair.

"_Vorte Accueil*, Mathieu_." Francis said in his mother language. Francis always thought of Matthew as his cousin, despite sometimes hitting on him. That was why he was a little concerned.

"_Mon Ami*_, I am very sorry about Gilbert's prank…I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him…again…" The Frenchman sighed. Matthew did the same and rubbed his head.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it." He lied as he turned on his computer. Once he heard Francis shut the door, Matthew returned to his original position.

"Must be fate that I met Gilbert…a terrible fate that is…" he murmured and stopped talking to get some peace and quiet. But as his eyes began to close for a moment, Matthew could hear his backpack shift again. He slowly sat up as soon as he heard and knelt down next to his bag.

"Yeah…this is the office, Kuma." Matthew smiled as he unzipped the red backpack, revealing a white bunch of fur with big beady eyes. Matthew sighed and gently petted it. "If they found out I had a live bear with me, everyone might freak out a little, then they'll send you to the animal control center…"

"…who are you?" Kuma asked as he tilted his head.

Matthew sighed. Kumajirou always forgot his name, but if they were to take the cub to the animal control center, it would be an awfully sad departure. Kumajirou will always be the first and last gift from Matthew's mother before she had died right before Matthew had graduated college, causing the blonde to leave the country with his brother. He was still a baby cub then. Matthew smiled at the memory. However, things weren't cute anymore when the cub started to speak.

"I'm Matthew, Kumachika." He replied.

"Food…" Kumajirou whispered and Matthew grumbled. He has not edited a single column yet. He stood up, only to realize he forgot to bring a single fish from his condo. Matthew got up and typed his password on his computer's keyboard. Once he was finished he walked out of the office and stared back at Kumajirou who stayed in the bag.

"…Stay." Matthew commanded and pointed at Kumajirou as he shut the door behind him.

Things were quiet for a few moments and Kumajirou obeyed and stayed in the bag as he stared around the office. The sunlight from the window flooded into the room and made everything glow and bright. Soon, Kumajirou began to hear the doorknob squeak as it was being turned. The cub stared at the door, expecting Matthew to come with his food, but instead, he must have found his human counterpart, with white hair and red eyes.

"Hey, Goldie, boss needs at least one of your columns already." Gilbert yawned as he opened the door. Kumajirou hid inside the backpack and stared at the albino.

"Hm…could have sworn he was talking to someone…oh crap." The human said as he noise began to ring in his pocket. Gilbert pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open.

"Y'ello, Awesomeness here." He said.

"_Gilbert!_"

"Gramps, listen, I haven't found someone yet…no one seems to think of me as their _ideal_ lover." Gilbert said as he paced around in the small office. Kumajirou watched him slowly as the albino babbled on the phone about marrying someone and expired visas.

Gilbert continued to walk around, examining Matthew's things. Matthew's stuff were really nice and Gilbert picked up a small picture with Matthew and someone who looked like him smiling in a garden. That is when Gilbert noticed that Matthew looked really feminine. If Matthew was turned to someone's back, they would most likely mistake him for a cute girl. That happened too when Gilbert first met Matthew during college.

"_Hey, you look kinda lost there, little lady…mind if you let this awesome dude escort you to your class?" Gilbert smirked as he tried to get a good look at the sexy-looking "lady" in front of him. _

"_Eh?" The "lady" turned to face Gilbert. When Gilbert finally got a good look at her, he felt utterly humiliated and felt at loss of words due to extreme shock. _

"Kesesese…" Gilbert snickered nervously at the memory.

"_Gilbert, are you listening to me? You need to get a green card quickly! Your visa is going to expire in a few days!" _He heard his grandfather shriek.

"_Ja, Ja*_, I'll look for someone…what if they were guys?" Gilbert asked blankly. He could actually hear his grandfather head desk at the question.

"_What?! Have you gone gay_? _Of course, not you _dummkopf*_! Plus, it's illegal!" _Gilbert's grandfather practically shrieked in his ear."_Gilbert...you need to find someone so that you can stay there for a long time. You know that they won't find you there." _

"_Ja_...I know..."Gilbert sighed and continued to roam around the room. In front of the boxes of books and papers, Gilbert spotted a red backpack that seemed to be breathing. He stared at it with wide eyes until he saw the bag inflate again.

"_Mein Gott*_, Gramps, I'll call back, okay?" Gilbert said and walked towards the bag as he picked up a hockey stick that hung stood beside Matthew's desk nearby.

Meanwhile, Matthew exited the elevator with a fish in a plastic bag hanging in his hand. He sighed, this was the only type of fish Kumajirou liked to eat and he would refuse to eat anything other than that fishy.

"Picky bastard…" Matthew grumbled as he entered the office lobby. He looked towards his office on the corner of the room and walked towards the chestnut door. As he got closer, his blue-violet eyes widened as he realized his door was open, meaning someone has gotten in. He was sure that he left the door shut.

Matthew began to run towards the door, sweat began to drip down his forehead and his anxiety was piling up. What if someone found out about Kumajirou? What if they told another worker? What if any time soon, ACC might come with a cage! Matthew shook off his thoughts and pulled the door wide open.

"…No one…" he panted as he put the fish down on the desk. Matthew looked around to see if there was anything out of place. That's when he spotted it; his red bag, the one where he kept Kumajirou in was missing.

"…K-Kumajirou!" Matthew shrieked silently as he began to search around, pushing away his boxes of files and piles of documents. Matthew ran back outside and scanned the room to see if there was anybody carrying a red backpack that had a maple leaf on it.

"Maple…" Matthew gasped out before running around the office. He scanned every single cubicle and none of them had the backpack. Matthew wanted to call out Kuma's name, but he couldn't expose the poor bear if he was around.

"I shouldn't have brought him here…" He whispered and stalked to the restroom. Soon, whoever found Kumajirou will call Animal control and take his bear away. Matthew sighed sadly. His first and last gift from his mother will be taken away from him.

Matthew pushed open the restroom door and walked past the other cubicles.

"Who are you?" Matthew's eyes widened at the high-pitched voice and spun around to see where it came from.

"Look, I already told you and shut up! Damn, you're so unawesome." He knew that voice. The voice that hoarse and continued to cackled every time something humiliated Matthew. The Canadian walked towards the first cubicle and pulled it open, revealing Gilbert crouching on the floor and Kumajirou sitting beside him. There was an awkward silence before Gilbert broke it.

"The fuck, Mattie? There's a friggin' bear in your backpack…and IT TALKS!" Gilbert whispered loudly as he pointed at Kumajirou. He pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and began to dial. "I'm calling Animal Control."

Matthew's eyes widened and pushed Gilbert's arm causing the two to fall on the floor with Matthew on top of Gilbert and sent the gadget falling into the toilet bowl. The soft splash from the toilet was heard and Matthew got off Gilbert, realizing what he has done.

Gilbert got up as well and stared at his now, broken phone that was floating on the water and glanced at Gilbert.

"…well, guess who's going to get a swirlie…"

Awkward silence…as Gilbert approached Matthew, the smaller blonde huffed and stared at Gilbert.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to push your phone into the toilet. Just don't call animal control! I'll do anything! Kuma was my first and last gift to me from by mother before she died!" Matthew pleaded as his hand was searching for the small lock.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow at the statement.

"Anything?" he asked.

"Anything. Just don't tell anybody about Kumajirou…"

…

"Crossdress and Marry me."

"…wha-?"

* * *

**Important Question:**

**Which Implied pairing will I add here? **

UsUk? FrUk? GerIta?

_(I'm going to add **Spamano** already since I am sure most of you readers are fans.)_

* * *

_A/N: This is my first multi-chapter story. This story is loosely based on The Proposal with a little action and romance and of course...yaoi. I hope it was nice and if you guys liked it, I'll continue it, but if you don't…well…I'm sorry and if there is another story like this, I'm sorry again._

_I might need a little constructive criticism and advice about the mistakes I wrote in the story or immigration 'cause I haven't gone anywhere yet and I my knowledge about Immigration is limited. It will be highly appreciated..._

* * *

**_Translations /*/_**

_-Thank you_

_-Your welcome._

_-My Friend_

_-Yes (Ja)_

_- Idiot_

_-My God_

* * *

**_Thanks for reading this chapter!_**

_**-Z-aik**_


	2. Chapter II: Dress Shopping

**Disclaimer: XIXDXOXNXTXOXWXNXHXEXTXAXLXI XAX**

**_Edited on Dec. 1, 2012_  
**

******Warning(s): T(Strongly) for Language, Cross Dressing, Mature Conversations, Disturbing themes (Haha...if you thought of coitus then...NO.) **

* * *

There was an awkward silence between the two. Matthew began to sweat as he stared into Gilbert's deep red pearls that represented his eyes. This must have been a dream; a hallucination. The guy he had hated for about a few years was in front of him, proposing. Matthew's eye began to twitch and replied without thinking.

"…I would rather kiss the toilet." Matthew retorted blankly. Gilbert winced at the reply and slowly glanced at the toilet and back at Matthew, who suddenly turned red at his own reply.

"Then do it…I _warmed_ it up for you…" Gilbert sneered softly. Matthew gave the toilet bowl one more glance and began to have second thoughts as soon as he saw that dried brown stain on the white seat.

"..uhm…no…w-w-why the heck did you propose that anyway? P-Plus we're both g-guys…and all…" He stammered out and stared down at the floor tiles. Gilbert rolled his eyes and pulled open the cubicle door.

"Why? Got a problem? You know, even if I _were_ gay, I could still kick your ass." He said. Matthew's eyes narrowed and stomped his foot forward, catching the albino's attention.

"That's it! I can't believe you're so damn cruel! Don't you realize you are blackmailing me by separating me with something I deeply care about?!" He screeched. Just as soon as he realized what he had just said, Matthew gasped and took a few steps backwards until his back had hit the cubicle's walls.

"Um…I could care about you if I knew who you are…" Kumajirou said out of the blue. Gilbert cackled at the bear's response.

"You're such a dumb ass, Williams! He doesn't even know who you are; and you say he cares about you? Ha!" He snickered.

Matthew's fist began to clench. Those Words stung him badly and he wanted to punch Gilbert in the face.

"Kuma is still a memento of my mother. He was the only gift I had received from her." He said with a slightly angered tone in his voice. Gilbert stopped laughing and narrowed his blood red eyes, but his sharp teeth began to show again.

"If you care about the bear so much, why not accept?" Gilbert whined childishly. Matthew groaned.

"If you want to get married, why don't you just pick up a whore in that bar over there?"

"Nah, too obvious, she'll grind on everyone in the room, just like Francis." Gilbert rolled his eyes.

Matthew went silent for a moment, thinking of what strategy he could use to get out of such a ridiculous situation, but even if it was ridiculous, he was in a dead end. Gilbert glared into Matthew's eyes, possibly searching for an answer. Gilbert may _want _an answer, but Matthew _needed _answers.

"Here's the deal, Give me answers to my questions and I'll give myself as a fiancée, deal?" Matthew asked. He wasn't sure about his own proposal, but he wanted to be sure about the info behind Gilbert's question. Any question like "do you like bacon?" doesn't need that much information, but asking a person to marry them, was a big deal to Matthew.

"…You have yourself a deal, Williams." Gilbert replied smugly. Matthew cleared his throat.

"Why do you want to marry someone? Me, in particular?"

"…Immigration. I need to stay here. I picked you since you were the best choice. I would have taken Elizaveta, but she was already married, and Grandpa knew. Plus you're possibly the only guy I know who's feminine and single.

"Why do you need to stay here? To annoy me out of my mind?"

"…I'm hiding from a few people in Germany and yes…I want to see you scream out "HE'S TOO AWESOME!" 'cuz you can't handle my awesomeness." Gilbert snickered making Matthew grimace.

"…Justin Beiber?"

"Who's that? Sounds like a kind of duck." Kumajirou commented

"_Ja*_, a duck that sounds like a strangled chicken alright, I agree with the bear… Oh yeah, Three Days Grace for the win."

"You…You got yourself…a fiancée…" Matthew whispered sadly. Gilbert smiled widely. Matthew didn't know what he was doing. But, he was a helpful and kind lad, which made him more controllable.

"…but first…we have to get some stuff…"

"Stuff? Where?"

"…Victoria's Secret…" Gilbert smirked.

"What?! ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE TO…! HELL NO…OW!" Matthew could feel he fell to the ground, but everything around him was blurry and turning dark until he was completely enveloped by the pitch black darkness.

* * *

His head hurt…so badly that he couldn't really remember what had happened a few minutes ago. All he knew was he woke up sitting on his butt, blindfolded and handcuffed. Matthew scanned his blurry memory to see what had happened, but he couldn't recall much except talking to…Gilbert in the restroom.

"_Marry me."_

"_You…You have yourself a fiancée…" _

"…Oh…Maple…" Matthew whispered as his heart began to pound. Who knew what was going to happen to him in the room.

"HELP! SOMEONE KIDNAPPED ME! RAPE!" Matthew screamed, but the unfortunate thing about being invisible was that people may or may not hear you when you shout, they will only think of it as chattering of two people talking about something or subtle whispering.

"Hey, Liz, thanks a lot for helping me drag him here." It was Gilbert's voice, and it was coming from outside. Oh no…Elizaveta was known for forcing a few guys to cross dress for a fanservice thing at the office, especially for a few women.

"Oh…it's no problem, Gil! As long as I get to keep a picture of him. Oh yes, If you drag me out of the office like that again…I swear I will hit you with my pan again." Elizaveta replied. Matthew had to get out now. He stretched his arms and tried to untie the blindfold but as he could feel a knot that held the two ends of the green scarf together, he heard the door open.

"Oh my, someone is dying to escape…" It was Elizaveta, whose voice had a mischievous tone in it and Matthew could sense that she was smirking. A second pair of footsteps came stomping into the room, followed by squeaky wheels.

"Hey, Mattie! You want to see what I have for ya? Let the awesome me take off that blind fold!" Gilbert said, his usual obnoxious voice as raspy as ever. As Matthew felt the albino walk closer to him, he slid backwards.

"Liz! Gilbert! I'd rather not see…" Matthew spat. "Anyway, where's Kumajirou?!"

"Then it'll look like those bondage videos my brother keeps at his house. Come on, so you can see the clothes!" Gilbert retorted. "Oh, he's in Elizaveta's car."

"Uhm…Liz, please don't tell me, those are women's clothes…" Matthew whimpered.

Elizaveta hummed, meaning that those _were_ women's clothes. Matthew could feel two large hands approach him and untie the knot behind his head. Once the blindfold was off, his sight was a little blurry, since his eyes had been pressed by the tight blindfold for a long period of time. Once his vision cleared, he found a rack of clothes that involved dresses, blouses and skirts. Matthew's eyes widened at the thought of himself wearing those.

"…please don't tell anyone else about this…" Matthew pleaded. Elizaveta nodded and began to browse through the clothes. Gilbert smirked.

"Let this fashion show...begin." He snickered and pulled out a piece of lacy underwear and started stretching it from the garter. Matthew stared at the piece in horror.

"W-Wait! I-Is the underwear necessary?!" he shrieked.

"Nah...not really...it's just so stretchy." Gilbert said, but felt a mass amount of pain on his head. Elizaveta had smacked him once more on the head and sent the Prussian gripping the aching part of his head.

"Now, stop dawdling around." she grumbled. Possibly since she was eager to see a guy cross dress.

* * *

"Ugh…ah…" Matthew panted as he felt the sweat drip down his neck and down to hit the floor. His knees were uncomfortable for kneeling for such a long time.

"Ah…G-Gilbert…ow!"

"Come on…we're getting to it….just hold on a little longer…!" Gilbert grumbled as he put his hand on Matthew's hip and pushed him down to prevent him from kneeling up. Matthew's face was turning very red.

"S-Stop it, already!" He squeaked, followed by a few gasps for air.

"ARGH! I'm going to explode! Stop tightening the damned corset!" Matthew screeched as he tried to gasp for breath. Gilbert gave the string that tightened the corset a last tug and let its end hit the floor. The Canadian wobbled up and stared at the large mirror on the wall. At least this was going to be last piece of women's clothing he was going to wear.

He did look like a woman with the corset on him. With his face, he looked like a cute girl with a baby face; slim, slightly long hair, which was short for girls. He still looked a little masculine though, with broad shoulders and a flat chest.

He turned around to see the Prussian staring at him, with curiosity obvious in his eyes. Gilbert was leaning on the wall his jaw hung open. Matthew blushed a little in embarrassment. Elizaveta opened the door, holding folded piece of clothing in her hand.

"Matthew, when it comes to a woman's wedding…one of the most important things needed is a wedding dress…" She smiled sweetly. Matthew stared at the clothing and sighed.

"Gilbert, you owe me a lot…" He glanced at Gilbert, who just chuckled in amusement. It took a while to get the dress on. Elizaveta slipped on a few pieces of jewelry and a pair of long gloves on each of Matthew's wrists. She had also slipped around a piece of white cloth around Matthew's waist and connected them with a pin that had a large violet crystal as the head. Gilbert stood beside the door and watched as his victim was being dressed up. He thought deeply as he watched.

"Wow…if he was a woman…I'd date her…" He thought. But at the moment, he had to think of a female name while Matthew dresses up as a little lady. If Francis had found Matthew, he wouldn't even recognize the guy and start grinding against him.

"Gil? Where's the ribbon?" Elizaveta called out and held out a hand. Gilbert shot up and grabbed the white ribbon and watched as his best friend tied it around Matthew's neck. "…and PERFECTO!"

Matthew stared at the mirror. He couldn't exactly call himself beautiful, wearing a beautiful wedding dress. He had always imagined his true love to dress like this when they were about to get married, but now…he was going to be the bride and was going to get married to his worst enemy.

He looked up and down his body. The top of the dress looked like a white version of his corset with small sleeves that hung below his shoulders and had another supporter that hung around his neck and on his shoulders. In the middle of the top, there was a fake flower that had yellow petals. Under the cloth that Elizaveta had wrapped around his waist, there was a light pink skirt that reached his ankles and had ruffles on the bottom part. The ribbon on his neck had also hid his Adam's apple.

"You look like a beautiful female bride." Elizaveta smiled. Matthew turned around, letting the dress flow on his tracks. He wasn't sure if he should be thankful or angry, so he just blushed as a reply. He caught Gilbert staring at him with half open eyes.

"What?" He asked.

"Got a problem?" Gilbert asked, his stare turning into a fierce glare. Matthew looked away. _Why am I supposed to marry that…that…CREATURE!? _He frowned to himself. He wasn't even gay.

"Well, since that's settled…why don't you two run along to the immigration office? Tell the boss first…" Elizaveta said and handed Matthew his regular clothes. The Canadian sighed in relief.

"So...who's going to pay for this stuff?" He asked as he gently removed the wedding dress.

"Oh…It's already paid...Gil used his…wait…Gilbert…you don't have a credit card…" Elizaveta said.

"Um…"

The three stood in silence for a while. Matthew began to sweat and his hand began to rub against his pockets. His wallet was missing. Gilbert started to whistle nervously.

"Gilbert, don't make me take out the pan…" Elizaveta said, her aura growing darker.

"…uh, yeah, about that…OW! MATTIE! WHERE THE HELL DID THE HOCKEY STICK COME FROM?! OW! PUT IT DOWN! BAD MATTIE-OUCH!"

* * *

Gilbert grumbled as he walked behind Matthew, who had reverted from Hockey-Matthew to Normal-Matthew. The Prussian continued to rub the marks on his head that indicating that had had been attacked.

"I may sue you for awesomeness assault." Gilbert grumbled.

"Don't have to…after all this, we'll meet in hell." Matthew said. Once they exited, they found Elizaveta holding a backpack that seemed to move a lot. Matthew sighed in relief and rushed to the woman.

"Thanks for taking care of him while I was…in the torture room…" Matthew shifted uncomfortably.

"He has quite an appetite…and it's no problem!" She said. Just now, Matthew had noticed that she was acting out of character. "Why are you being nice to Gilbert? Shouldn't you two…bicker a lot?"

"Oh…it's just that I get to have another picture of cute man in a dress…" Matthew stared blankly at her. He knew that that was her fetish, but the thought of his picture on the internet was horrific. Before Matthew could respond, he felt himself get pushed away by the shoulder. It was Gilbert.

"Yeah, bye Lizzele!" Gilbert interrupted. Matthew clutched on his backpack as the bags of feminine clothes hung on Gilbert's arms.

"Hey, Kuma…are you hungry?" Matthew cooed.

"Who are you? Don't give me poisoned food!" Kumajirou cried. Matthew sighed. He was definitely hungry.

"Hey, so; we go into the Immigration office, tell the dude we're going to get married, pretend you're a woman, fly off to your place and…"

"W-Whoa…wait up…I'm not going to do all that unless…" Matthew stopped at the moment. Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"What now? You've been acting like a steal-all-your-money-bitch lately." Gilbert commented as he crossed his arms.

"…unless you propose properly...right now…"

"What the fuck?"

"You heard me…on your knee." Matthew grumbled.

"Wha- gah, fine." Gilbert groaned and looked around. If he got down right now, people would instantly think of him as either crazy or gay. He didn't like either of them, but still. He got down on his knees and looked up at the now smirking Canadian. He could feel everyone's eyes on him.

"Will you marry me?" Gilbert sneered.

"No. Say it nicely…" Matthew snickered. Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"Oh Matthew…whose hair is as golden as honey and eyes like the deep sea, whose brain is as small as a chicken's and whose personality is like a cowardice kitten~ Will you…" Gilbert stopped and his ears perked up. From behind the chattering in the crowd, he could hear two people, speaking his native language. Gilbert turned to see who it was and his red eyes widened.

"Matthew, run." Gilbert said.

"What?" Matthew's smirk disappeared and Gilbert soon stood up and pushed Matthew into the crowd.

"Gilbert! What are you doing?!" Matthew screeched. Gilbert looked back and glared around to see if those two people were still there. He could see one of them pointing at him.

"_Da ist er!" _he said. " _Ihn holen! JETZT!" *_

The other person began to run towards Gilbert and the albino gasped and pushed Matthew more into the crowd, nearly suffocating the blonde. He could still see the two chasing them in the crowd. Matthew looked back at Gilbert, who looked panicky. Gilbert took a turn and the duo entered a dark alley. He grunted when he realized it was a dead end.

"_Sie gingen hier!"* _He heard the same man that spoke in German a few minutes ago yell. Gilbert looked back too see that they were closing on them.

"Gilbert! What's going on?!"

"_GOTTVERDAMMT!" * _Gilbert yelled.

A man, now wearing a black mask stopped in front of the alley. He looked inside and took out his gun in less that two seconds and shoot.

The world went silent for a few seconds then.

* * *

**Important Question:**

**This story will HAVE to have an antagonist. Do you people want him/her to be a Hetalia Character or an OC?**

* * *

_A/N: I told you in the last chapter that this would contain a little action! This is just loosely based on The Proposal with MAJOR changes. I hope you liked this chapter! I'm sorry I didn't upload a little earlier. I got hooked when I read a Percy Jackson book and I lost track of time. I'm guessing a few of you know that I got the corset scene from Kuroshitsuji. LOL...I'm bad at implied smut, because I AM NOT A SMUT WRITER AND I WILL NOT WRITE SMUT! Not now, not never._

_I am accepting Constructive Criticism and a few Corrections. If there are a few and they are bothering you, don't hesitate to Criticism. Flames will be put out by Alfred AKA America._

* * *

_**Translations(*):**_

_Ja- Yes_

_Da ist er! – There he is!_

_Ihn holen! JETZT- Get him! NOW!_

_Sie gingen hier- They went here!_

_GOTTVERDAMMT- God Damn it! (Sorry God…)_

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**_Thank you for taking the time to read this Chapter!_**

_**-Z-aiK**_


	3. Chapter III: Escaping

_**Disclaimer: Cha-Cha-chan: NEVA! *Tears fly out of eyes* **_

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_**Warning(s): T (Strongly) for Language, Cross Dressing, Mature Conversations, and Disturbing Themes. **_

_**Rather one of the most disturbing chapters of this story...Just a heads up, people. **_

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The world went silent for a few moments after the loud bang was heard. The chattering in the streets had stopped for a split second until the noise began to resume once more. The shooter that stood in front of the alley's entrance lowered his arm and carefully put his gun in his pouch. He looked at the brick wall across him and grumbled in disappointment; not a single drop of blood was splattered on the reddish brown bricks and there wasn't a single body collapsed on the dirtied concrete.

From above in a rusted fire exit that was slightly burned due to the fires that had occurred in the previous years, two figures stood on one corner of the stairway to the roof top. It was just too small for them. Gilbert had to face Matthew and the Canadian had to wear Kumajirou's backpack. The shopping bags surrounded them as if they could hide the duo. The awkward thing about their position was that Matthew could feel something rising on the lower part of their bodies like a sunflower following the afternoon sun's direction.

Gilbert looked below. He was only a few meters above the psycho who had tried to kill him and Matthew just a few minutes ago. That's when he noticed that Matthew was blushing like crazy and he(Gilbert) was grinding on him. Gilbert felt his cheeks flare up, but his attention was focused on the sniper.

"…H-How are we-? W-Who was-?"

"Shh! Don't make any sudden movements…" Gilbert shushed, cutting off the Canadian's sentence. He could feel Matthew gulp and turn his head slightly to look down. They couldn't see the sniper's face since his hat was covering his face. Gilbert looked around and his crimson eyes widened as soon as he saw the long rope that was dangling from the metal banister above the duo.

"Hop inside my mouth if you want to live." Kumajirou said from inside the backpack. Gilbert hissed at him. "Can we have a Nemo for dinner?"

"No! Now shut up! I've got an idea…" Gilbert smirked at Matthew, who was still staring down at the shooter.

"He looks like he's about to snap…walking around, kicking the wall, unzipping his zipper, taking out his…Maple, that's a mighty one." Matthew stammered out nervously. Gilbert looked down and raised his eyebrows.

"Whoa…that's one long ding dong but they're not as awesome as my five meters, kesesese~!" Gilbert said proudly and quietly, quite unusual for him. A pregnant silence surrounded them as they stared down. Matthew frowned.

"W-Why are we looking at his love stick anyway? Shouldn't we be trying to escape?" Matthew asked, still staring down. Gilbert didn't look up, but still replied.

"Yeah, yeah, don't nag me. How the heck are we going to use the rope?" Gilbert replied calmly. Matthew looked up and shifted Kumajirou on his left side. He looked up at the rope and smiled.

"Hey, have you ever watched Tarzan?"

* * *

The man zipped up his zipper and walked back to the middle of the alley. Maybe they were on the fire escape! He snickered and looked up, but instead of seeing the duo, he saw the bottom part of a shoe pummel his face and flatten his nose. The shoe was so deep that he could actually tell what type of shoe it was; Hush Puppies, smells like beer, size 29, and the feet had fungi.

"OOOOH~AH~OH~AH~OOOOH!" Gilbert shouted, imitating Tarzan's yell as best as he can.

"MAPLE, GILBERT! THAT'S BEAVER DUCK'S 'BABY' INTRO! MAKE IT STOP!" Matthew growled. His eyes widened as he gripped the rope with Kumajirou's squeals ringing in his ears. They must have looked pretty ridiculous with the shopping bags on their heads and dangling on their arms.

"Awesome Dude to the rescue! Pancake Boy, to the awesome mobile~!" The Prussian laughed. Matthew was sure the people on the road have noticed them by now. Gilbert pushed up the plastic bag on his head and saw that they were approaching the bright exit.

"Birdie! I have an idea! Let go!" He said quickly. Matthew purple eyes widened. "Are you CRAZY?! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

"There's grass across the road! And neither do I! This world will die without the King of Awesomeness!" Gilbert shrieked back. Matthew had just realized this was an extremely long alley way.

"Let go!"

"What?!"

"NOW!" Gilbert shrieked and the duo let go of the rope and went flying across the street. Matthew began flapping his arms around as he looked under him and saw that he was flying.

"Whoa! I believe I can fl~Argh…OW!" Matthew turned to see Gilbert, who went crashing landing on the grass and stumbled into the murky pond. Matthew looked forward and felt the rushing pain of crash landing climb up to his chin and he slid across the wet grass like tumbleweed in a desert. For a moment, he just wanted to lie there and rest until the pain on his upper body disappeared. He re-opened his eyes.

Matthew's vision was blurry and dizzy. Dozens of people were staring at him and taking pictures. He realized that the pink shopping bag was still on his head. He couldn't believe he had survived that, and better, he didn't feel like there was anything broken. The grass was soft and smooth as he lay there. It was like he was only lying on the tip of the grass.

"G-Gilbert…?" He moaned softly, trying to get up and see if his co-worker was still in the pond. Apparently he was, sitting upside down, resting his bottom on the pole in the middle of the pond. His legs fell down, and apparently, Matthew just stared, but being his kind self, he used up his remaining strength to stumble to the pond's edge with Kumajirou and the bags. He didn't even have enough energy left to remove the bag from his head. As soon as he reached the pond, he stumbled back to the grass and splashed on the murky water.

"G-Gil…" he called out softly. "Y-You okay…?"

"M-My awesome five meters…" The albino grumbled painfully as he gripped his groin. Matthew stared at him as he squirmed in the water like a mosquito larva. The Canadian mumbled.

"I-I'll take that a-as a yes…" he replied. The water felt really good on the lower part of his body, despite the mud and algae. Gilbert started wading, causing the water to splash around and wobbled up. His whole body was soaked; nevertheless, anybody would still fall for the jerk.

"What the hell are y-you waiting for? Christmas? L-Lets go then." He stammered as he grabbed up half of the bags. He pushed the shopping bag off Matthew's head and pulled him up. He was really harsh and rough.

"…Karma…" Matthew snickered to himself, unfortunately, Gilbert heard him and the albino gave him a chilled wet willy.

"Hey, we can't go to the immigration office in this!" Matthew suggested as he wiped the inside of his ear and squeezed out the dirt. Gilbert did the same and turned to face Matthew.

"…Oh no…you're not going to get me into THOSE dresses of yours." Gilbert's ruby eyes widened. Matthew clicked his tongue and scowled at the albino behind his back.

"I'm just going to drop these at home…if you don't want to change and show the Immigration officer that I'm going to "marry" a stranded sea monster, then the deal is off." Matthew said.

"An awesome sea monster at that and no, you do remember that if you walk out of this deal, you're going to throw that damned bear away." Gilbert snickered. Matthew frowned and sighed.

"Whoever you are…please don't throw me away." Kumajirou pleaded from the backpack, with a little shocked voice. Matthew rubbed his head.

"But still, even if you call Animal control, I can still hide Kumajirou, so it's YOU who needs ME." Matthew snickered. Gilbert thought about it, and slapped his hands on his face. That was entirely true. He was doomed…

"Oh yeah, did you call me Birdie?"

"Shut up..."

* * *

Gilbert and Matthew stood in front of the apartment complex. It was quite large and must have had more than 300 rooms for rent. The building had a shade of light blue and the windows were clean and clear. In front of the duo and right outside the door was a cement sidewalk headed towards the gate. Beside the sidewalk was a grassy lawn with perfectly trimmed hedges. Flower beds decorated with cosmos, dahlias, sunflowers, roses and many more flowers leaned on the large window that showed an indoor pool. Beside the building's corner, there was a white gazebo with a swinging bench inside.

"Whoa, when'd you get this rich?" Gilbert asked in bewilderment. Matthew shrugged.

"I dunno, possibly when you first started touching yourself…" Matthew replied and walked over to the door. Gilbert grumbled. _That was a long time ago! _He thought.

The door swung open and revealed an aqua hallway with several doors ahead and an elevator across the duo. The hallways smelled like lavender and that people could get a good sleep. Gilbert inhaled the scent and grinned. Somehow, the scent of the apartment was awesome. He then focused his gaze on Matthew, who was staring at him as if he had done flips to get across the street in a speedo. Seriously, when Gilbert and his buddies did that during school, they were on the papers for a whole month.

"What are you waiting for? Valentine's Day? Maple…" Matthew sighed as he walked down the hallway. Gilbert grumbled and walked beside the Canadian man. Until they reached Matthew's apartment, Gilbert kept humming, singing and jamming to a song in his Ipod named _Mein Gott_; Gilbert's favorite song. He also stated that the lead singer was Prussian and his rocker voice was "so freaking awesome." Matthew scooted away as soon Gilbert began strumming his air guitar.

"_The awesome me is the most supreme! The strongest~!_" He sang with much power. Matthew began to whine in irritation.

"Maple…help me…there's a cocky animal doing his mating call~!" He whispered to the elevator wall. Gilbert stopped strumming his "guitar" and paused the music right before he scowled.

"Oh yeah, you're telling me you've got a more awesome voice than me?" He sneered. Matthew began to sweat and shook his head. He never really liked to sing. Most people commented that his voice was calming, yet…too quiet for them. The elevator door opened and the two of them looked around the corridor. It was quite quiet, perfect for Matthew. The rooms were in a U formation, but in between two rooms, there was a glass door leading to the balcony of the floor.

Matthew walked over to the first apartment on the left and looked around. He then turned to Gilbert.

"Uh, Gilbert...please hand me my keys…it's in my back pocket…" Matthew said, pleadingly. Gilbert looked at Matthew's back pocket on his pants, he then flushed.

_Back pocket…as in…butt pocket?! Mein Gott*…_Gilbert extended his trembling hand and dug it in Matthew's pocket. He could feel the Canadian heat up.

"Gilbert…I meant back pack pocket…"

Fuck. A gothic man from the room across Matthew's went shuffling out and saw Gilbert's hand in Matthew's pocket. He snickered.

"You two! Get a room!" He laughed.

Double fuck. Gilbert tried pulling His hand out of Matthew's pocket but gasped and realized what happened.

"What now?" Matthew asked.

"I'm Hungry!" Kumajirou whined.

"It's stuck!" Gilbert panicked, as red as ever. Matthew gasped and grabbed the door knob. Gilbert grabbed his right wrist with his left hand and pulled as hard as he could. Matthew turned redder every time his butt would rise every now and then. Matthew looked around and found the fire extinguisher's case.

"You know…it's a good thing you don't have a big ass or anything, or else this would be _REALLY_ difficult…" Gilbert groaned sarcastically. Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Just chop it off already! I'm not willing to go around with a pervert's hand in my pant pocket!" Matthew grumbled softly. Gilbert pulled harder and he heard the pocket rip open a little.

"Maple! These pants were Gucci! Pull gently, okay?!" Matthew sighed. Meanwhile, in the other rooms, a woman listened to the conversation behind the other wall.

"Oh dear…these two are really want to get on it, don't they, George?" She turned to her husband who was barely listening.

"Oh, yeah, me too." He said as he flipped to the next page of his newspaper. Back to Gil and Matt, Matthew began to feel the pain of the multiple wedgies he had received during high school and college.

"Gilbert! Hasn't it ever occurred to you…that you use your LEFT hand to get the keys? Once I take my pants off inside, you can pull your hand OUT of my pocket!" Matthew grumbled. Gilbert stopped pulling his hand and looked up at Matthew.

"Ah...Good point…" He laughed nervously. Gilbert unzipped Kumajirou's backpack and handed Matthew a bronze key. Matthew shoved the key into the key hole and the door finally opened.

"About time!" Kumajirou cheered. The duo shuffled into the room and Matthew dropped the clothes on the floor before unzipping his pants. As soon as Matthew's pants fell off, Gilbert pulled his hand out of the pocket.

"Thank you, thunder thighs." Gilbert sighed in relief as he held up his slightly purple hand. Matthew put down the backpack and let Kumajirou out of the bag. He gasped for air and went stumbling around the floor. Gilbert looked around. It was a decent looking apartment with beige walls, a potted plant in the corner, a few paintings, and of course furniture.

Matthew walked over to the small refrigerator and pulled out a small fish and handed it to the polar bear, who gleefully took it. Gilbert slumped on the couch and watched Matthew as the Canadian grabbed a few of the shopping bags and walked into one of the rooms, presumably, his bedroom. The albino stared at the old fashioned television and grabbed the remote control on the side table.

"OW!" Matthew squeaked from the room. Gilbert pointed the remote control at Matthew's door and began to click the buttons randomly.

"Mute. Mute."

"Crap…it can't fit…so, many women now are so conscious about their weight, huh?" Matthew asked from behind the door. Gilbert shrugged.

"Dunno, but when Elizabeta and I were kids, it was like she was a PMS-ing bull…the horror…" Gilbert said and buried his face in his hands at the memory. Matthew laughed. As he laughed, something seemed to fall inside his bedroom and crashed on the floor.

"Okay! I got it on…but…it's embarrassing…" Matthew said as he opened the door. Gilbert watched him exit the door and raised his eyebrows.

"…Whoa…Lookin' good, babe." Gilbert laughed. The next thing he knew, that a pancake went flying into his face and a set of newly washed clothes were set on his lap.

* * *

The immigration office was stuffy. As in as stuffy as the insides of the recently used oven. Gilbert shifted around in his Immigration Officer's office. He was wearing a My Chemical Romance T-shirt, a short sleeved white jacket, a pair of loose jeans and slip on shoes. It looked quite awesome on him along with the P bling necklace. Matthew however, was not feeling so good. He wore a red shoulder-less shirt, skinny jeans and a pair of biker boots. He also wore a woolen beanie hat on his head. He didn't look like a perfect woman, but it wasn't obvious that he was a man. He also had to keep his head down at all times to hide his Adam's apple.

A knock came on the door and Gilbert looked at the man behind the door. He seemed to have chin-length brown hair and bright blue eyes. Matthew looked at the door and opened it.

"Ah…Good Afternoon…I'm Mr. Laurinaitis. Call me Toris." He said politely.

Matthew gave him a polite nod and Gilbert bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing. _Isn't that like a disease or something? _

"Uh, hey, I'm Gilbert…this is Mattea." Gilbert replied, having gotten over his fit of laughter.

"Beilschmidt and Williams? Alright…"

Mr. Laurinaitis sat down behind his desk and studied the duo from head to toe. He picked up a clean folder and scanned the paper's contents.

"Alright…let me…um, explain to you the process that will eventually unfold…" Toris said as he put down the folder and looked at the duo in front of him who nodded.

"First of all…I'll put you each in a room. I'll ask you every little question a real couple would know about each other. Second, I dig deeper…I look at your phone records, ask your co-workers and neighbors and the likes…if your answers don't match up, you"-Toris pointed at Gilbert-"will be deported back to Germany indefinitely and you-" he pointed at Matthew, who started to fidget-"young lady, will have committed a felony, punishable by a fine of $250, 000 and unfortunately, will end up in federal prison."

Matthew's eyes widened in shock. Gilbert turned to face the cross dressing Canadian and chewed the inside of his cheek. Matthew opened his mouth as he searched for the perfect words to reply, but Toris had beaten him to the punch.

"So…Mattea…you wanna, uh…speak up? You've been awfully quiet." Toris said. Matthew took a deep breath and glanced back at Gilbert, whose eyes widened.

"I…"

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**Ciao! Welcome to the Challenge Area!**

_Today, I have decided to add some OCs! None of them will interfere with the APH pairings, so no worries! Anyway! As soon as I say **GO**, submit your **BAD GUY **OC! The first two OC's I recieve will be added to the story :D ! Good Luck, peeps! Here's the info thing...!  
_

**Name:**

**Age:**

**Appearance:**

**Personality:**

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_**A/N: **Told you this'd be a disturbing chapter…I forgot to thank everyone who reviewed, alerted and favorited in the last chapter, so I'll say it now…**THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE! :D** Lithuania isn't even from America or Canada, and he's an immigration officer AKA Mr. Gilbertson(LOL **Gilbert**-son)?_

_Constructive Criticism is highly appreciated! Those who will submit flames with receive a massive kick in the genitals._

_Oh yeah...the pairings...The winners are FrUk and GerIta, since a few wanted UsUk, then, don't worry! Nope, not a love triangle...just very, very close pals. Best Friends~! Ha..ha...I'll shut up now...I don't really know why there are only a few USUK fans here...but that doesn't mean I dislike FrUk! _

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**Translations(*): **

_Mein Gott- My God!_

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_**Thanks again for reviewing the past few chapters and thanks for reading this chapter!**_

_**-Z-aiK**_

**ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, _GO_!**


	4. Chapter IV: Flying and Landing

**Disclaimer: Doo ah look lak ei Hidekaz Himaruya too yah? Nuh uh! **

**Warning(s): T(Strongly) for Language, Cross Dressing, Mature Conversations, Disturbing Themes, and OOC probably.**

* * *

"I…"

"…Mattie…" Matthew abruptly shut his mouth and slowly tilted his head to get a glimpse of Gilbert, who must have been trying to communicate wit him, but Matthew could barely hear him. Gilbert scooted closer and tried speaking once more.

"…do the dog pile…"

Matthew frowned at the absurd plan. It was an also immature type of plan since it might involve them getting arrested for assault.

_You'll scream out 'trampoline time!' and we'll jump on the bastard and get away, 'kaaay? _

The idea would make almost anyone who hears it face-palm. Matthew scooted farther from Gilbert and glanced back at Toris, who was now frowning at his pink cell phone. Gilbert snickered at the phone, catching Toris' attention and making the possibly Lithuanian laugh nervously. The phone must have been a gift from someone else who was girly, probably his lover or something.

Matthew, as Mattea Williams opened his mouth to speak again, but scanned his mind to search for the most possible reason. Usually, if he was cornered, or had a writer's block, he would clutch his head with both of his hands and stare at the ceiling for a good amount of time. However, counting the dots on the ceiling wasn't a really good choice at the moment.

"…um…Ms. Williams? Are you alright?" Toris asked, concerned. Gilbert turned to face the cross dresser, but Matthew kept his gaze focused on the immigration officer.

"Um…Mr. Laurinaitis…w-we had to hide our r-relationship, b-because…" Matthew's eyes widened. His heart was pounding. He turned his head slightly to catch a glimpse of Gilbert, shrugging and raising a platinum eyebrow. Matthew took a deep breath. He wanted to cry in frustration. He had never thought about this before.

"…Gilbert has many admirers…" As soon as those words had brushed past Matthew's lips, Gilbert's wide eyes turned to his "fiancée" but showed no signs of emotion towards the statements. It actually made him quite happy. Matthew had accepted the fact that many people adore his awesomeness. A warm smile crawled its way to Gilbert's face. He had always known Matthew would soon say that.

"…if they found out about our relationship…some things might not end well…" Matthew sighed as a part of the act. He could feel Gilbert scoot closer to him and place an arm on his back. Matthew looked up to see Gilbert flash him a wide grin. If his teeth were any whiter, Matthew would've already gone blind.

"...Kesesese~ I remember when we first met…she couldn't take her eyes off me…I loved it whenever we were together…and eventually, she came to my office and we had amazing kinky desk-"

_SMACK_

Matthew pulled the throw pillow off Gilbert's face, leaving the albino in shock and glared at him. His face was as red as a fire truck. Matthew slammed the pillow on his lap and turned back to Toris, who was just a little pink about the desk thing. Matthew rubbed the tip of his fingers on his own forehead and looked up.

"…I-I'm sorry, about t-that…" Matthew stammered out, his quiet interior returning. For the past few hours, he had been quite loud, especially during the rope in the alley episode. Matthew took a deep breath as he tried to forget the scarring memory. Gilbert's smile had melted away a few moments ago, and returned to glaring at Toris, who seemed to be ignoring him.

"…so…have the two of you told your parents about this…? You know, if you haven't you're going to have a big chance for the next few weeks since the holidays ARE coming up." Toris smiled and clasped his hands together. He turned to Matthew, who was staring down at the floor and abruptly looked up, surprised.

"Oh…um…I'm sorry, my parents…um…you know…and my brother…I've lost all connections to him…" Matthew sighed quietly. Toris frowned, but the frown had vanished once he had turned to face Gilbert, who was dozing off in "Gilbert is so Awesome" LA-LA Land.

"Ah…yeah, my totally unawesome _bruder,_ Lutz and his adorable bed buddy, Feli…oh yeah, Grandpops too…Kesesesese…they all live in the same house. Whenever I would come over, I would sleep in the basement." Gilbert chuckled out loud as if he was drunk. Matthew stared at him for a moment, and turned back to stare at the floor.

"…So…where would they be?" Toris asked patiently. Gilbert shrugged. Matthew he would possibly answer Germany.

"Konigstein…" The Prussian grinned.

"Konigstein…?" Matthew asked, growing tense.

"You know…from Germany! Konigstein!"

* * *

The past few days have been a bit in the mud. But the comfortable chairs in the airplane sure were relaxing. Matthew cuddled deeper into the chair and rested his forehead on the glass window. Gilbert took out his Ipod and started playing whatever music he had spotted first on the playlist. Matthew sighed and picked up a folder. The long list of questions had shocked him a bit. Gilbert scooted towards Matthew until their shoulders were sticking together and leaned in to see the questions.

"…Whoa, kesesese, you think I'll tell you all the answers to those without making it hard for you?" He snickered. Matthew snorted and rolled his eyes. Ever since Gilbert had proposed, he has been getting a serious amount of headaches. Suddenly, someone behind the duo stood up and rested his elbows on their head rest.

"Oh, _Mathieu_, if you need any information about your _amour_" -he pointed at Gilbert-" don't hesitate to ask me~" he said seductively. Matthew's eyes widened in protest; he opened his mouth to say something but a whine came from behind him.

"Why…just WHY should I sit with this damned wine bastard?" He wailed.

"Lovino, Gilbert and I have to talk about some stuff about this trip…just bear with it for a while…I-I'm really sorry…Francis…please don't harass him…" Matthew sighed quietly, his quiet demeanor returning.

"Oh don't worry my Italian _petit_~ I will make sure you are…comfortable…_honhonhon_~" Francis smirked as he forcibly grabbed Lovino's hand and gently placed a kiss on the back. Matthew sighed as he stared at Francis harassing Lovino.

"Why did we even allow them to come with us?"

* * *

"_Oh, Gil, Mathieu, where are you going?" Francis asked as he stared at the luggage in the duo's hands. _

"_Germany…" Matthew replied as Gilbert stomped into the boss' office and slammed the wooden door behind him. Francis raised a golden eyebrow at Matthew in confusion. "I'm just going to help him with something there…" _

_Francis stared at Matthew for a moment and slowly nodded his head in confusion. The office' door opened once more and Gilbert jumped out in the open and started swaying his hips in happiness. _

"_Mon Ami, Gilbert's hips never lie…" Francis whispered in his ear, seductively. Matthew shuddered and stopped as soon as Gilbert approached the two._

"_He said it was awesome that we're finally getting along together…anyway, hey Franny, what's up?" He asked. _

"_I heard you were going to Germany…is Toni still living there?" Francis asked eagerly. Matthew raised an eyebrow. _Who was Toni? _Matthew shook his head. He shouldn't possibly interfere with Gilbert's information at the moment. _

"_Maybe…I'm don't really get to hear from him anymore." Gilbert replied. _

"_WAIT A FUCKING SECOND-!" Someone yelled. The trio all turned their heads for their eyes to meet with dark brown ones that had a reddish hue. Lovino stood there in shock. _

"_Where in Germany?" He asked calmly, which was fairly, unusual. Gilbert shut his mouth and took a few steps forward. He pursed his lips and took a deep breath._

"_Uh…yeah…what? Who the fuck are you and what did you do to our crazy Italian nut who hates Germany, huh? You little poser." Gilbert punched Lovino playfully on the arm. Wrong decision; Lovino pulled out a rotten tomato from his pocket and smashed it on Gilbert's face. Why did he even have that in his pocket? While Gilbert shuffled around and pulled everything out of his way to find tissues or a handkerchief, Matthew cleared his throat. _

"_K-Konigstein, Lovino." Matthew replied nonchalantly. Lovino put down his documents and sighed before turning to face Matthew and Francis, who was in fact, laughing at Gilbert's misfortune. _

"_Look, don't get me wrong, okay? I hate that fucking country, I don't know why, but I _despise _it, but…I'll go with you." Lovino grumbled. Francis' grin increased and ran to the Italian. _

"_Ahhh! My little petit Italian is coming as well! Don't worry, Lovi…I'll make sure you are well…loved…" He smirked. Matthew shuddered and tried to break the tension between them. Lovino's eyes widened and slowly started to whimper, so Matthew definitely had to break them up. Lovino has always had this type of fear towards Francis…maybe because he doesn't like to be touched in the groin by a potential rapist._

"…_Anyway, Lovino…why?" Matthew asked. Lovino grumbled. _

"_My Nonno and Fratello…" he sighed. "They fucking moved there when I began to work here at this God damn place." _

_Matthew stared at him and frowned. He was good friends with Lovino, but he didn't really like to be in a room every day with a narcissistic jerk, a sex addicted pervert and a man with a sailor's mouth, but seeing the look on Lovino's face was a bit heart breaking. He must really miss his family. _

"_Fine, you can come…" Matthew said and placed a comforting hand on Lovino's shoulder. Gilbert and Francis turned to them with their jaws dropped._

"_WHAAAT?" Both of them had different tones in their voices._

* * *

"..Francis…please not on the plane…" Matthew said softly. Francis let go of Lovino's wrist and sighed.

"…not the best day for too much love isn't it?" he asked. Gilbert remained focused on his…magazine, but closed his eyes and smiled as he shook his head.

"_Nein_…" he whispered. "_Nein_, Francis…"

Matthew smiled softly and fell back on his chair. He looked out the window and saw that they were already in mid-air. He closed his eyes and did a sign of the cross, praying to God that there won't be that much chaos during the trip.

* * *

"Nine…Ten…Eleven…"

Gilbert mumbled as he stared at the planes ceiling, counting lizards and dots. It had already been one day and he still hasn't found anything better to do than write in his journals of awesomeness, read porn, talk to an unconscious Frenchman and put potato chips in Matthew's hair. He took a deep breath and turned his head to the side. Matthew had been sleeping for almost a few hours now. Gilbert frowned and brushed the Canadian's fringe off his eyelids.

He took a few strands of golden hair and rubbed it with his thumb. He hummed and let if fall back to its former position. Once he thought of it, Matthew was a really cute guy. Gilbert gently poked the tip of Matthew's nose and smiled. He was so fit to be a girl; smooth skin, soft hair, a slim figure. That type of woman has always been Gilbert's dream girl.

The albino pulled his finger away from the blonde and turned his head to face forward. Before he could close his own eyes, he heard Matthew moan a bit and suddenly, he felt something heavy on his shoulder. Gilbert's eyes snapped open and gently turned his head to see Matthew leaning his head on the albino's shoulder.

Gilbert frowned and sighed gently. He could feel his cheeks heat up a bit. This was awkward.

"…I'm the awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt! I won't let something so…cute…weaken me!" he thought with a smirk. His smirk faded as soon as he felt Matthew's arms wrap around his own. Gilbert's pale face soon grew pink, but avoided the subject. This was going to be a long trip.

* * *

Matthew stared out of the window and stared back at his wrist watch. Dark circles were positioned under his eyes and his lips were dry. It wasn't really pleasant for him when he found himself hugging Gilbert's arm and the Prussian's head resting on his own. Gilbert stared towards the stewardess who has been babbling about ever since they entered Europe's district. Behind them, Lovino was snoozing soundly as he leaned on the window and Francis was busy admiring himself in a hand mirror.

The Canadian looked below and noticed that the plane was about to land. Gilbert leaned forward as he felt the plane slow down a bit and turned to see dozens of people waiting outside the landing area. From the crowd, he could notice two people with familiar heads. One of them had blond hair that was slicked back and the other had slightly messy golden brown hair and a curl standing on the side of his head. Gilbert smiled.

"…Home sweet home…" he mumbled.

* * *

"M-Maple!"

"G-Gottverdammt! MOVE PEOPLE! AWESOMENESS COMING THROUGH!"

"So much big butts~"

"GOD DAMN IT! CRAMP! CRAMP!"

As soon as the door opened, all of the passengers went zooming out creating a large stampede. Matthew took deep breaths every second and looked around. Gilbert and Lovino were holding on to him while Francis was yanking on Gilbert's pants, causing the pants to slowly slip down his hips and reveal his "awesome thunder-pants."

Matthew's eyes watered as the people crushed him as they walked down the stair-ladder. He glanced around to see Gilbert almost biting someone else's ear off and Francis hugging his leg. Gilbert's jeans have completely come off the albino, revealing his slightly hairy legs.

"Shave man!" someone yelled. Soon enough, Matthew took a step on the concrete. His eyes widened and he looked around. He was on the ground. He smiled widely and rejoiced.

"LAND! SWEET LAND!" He smiled and pulled Gilbert and Francis forward, causing them to stumble off the stairs. Before he could even exit the landing area, someone abruptly crushed his ribs with a bear hug. He looked down and found a head full of brown hair and a gravity defying curl bounce around.

"Ciao! I'm Feliciano! You're Mattea, right?" He greeted.

"FELICIANO!" A deep voice yelled from the crowd.

"Ve~Luddy!"

"Feli?" Lovino jerked upwards. Feliciano stopped dead on his tracks.

"Lovi?"

"GILBERT!" Gilbert yelled in amusement.

"…this is one hell of a reunion." Matthew said.

* * *

**Question time:**

_Should this story be rated M or remain rated T?_

* * *

_A/N: I don't know what rating this story should be…guys help me out please…anyway, sorry for not updating so long! Don't kill me! Anyway, midterms came and I went to the province to visit my cuz. Ah, yeah, I picked Konigstein because it was somehow similar to the setting in the proposal…did some research on that…if anyone wants to correct me about a few things then…go ahead! _

_Thanks for all the favorites, alerts and reviews! They make me happy~! Hope you review this chap too! Thanks everyone!_

* * *

_**Translations:**  
_

_**Nein-No(German)**_

* * *

**_Thanks for reading this chap! Hope you liked it and will wait for the next to come out. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year peeps!_**

**_-Z-aik_**


	5. Chapter V: Introducing

**Disclaimer: /Mouth filled with grapes and cheese**

* * *

The family's introductions were quite rocky, Matthew thought as he walked through the large crowd, his baggage in his hand and his backpack that held Kumajirou slung on his shoulder, which caused him to receive a few shifts of discomfort and a few high-pitched whines from time to time. Gilbert and Matthew had already told Francis and Lovino the plan about telling Feliciano and Ludwig that Matthew was a girl named "Mattea" and so far, things were going well.

"_Nein_, Lovino. I did not force Feliciano into marriage and _NEIN_, I did NOT rape him."

"Ludwig, what's rape?"

"Kesesesese~ Feli, rape is what West here does to you, except one of you shouldn't like it." Gilbert snickered mischievously as he watched Ludwig turn bright red. He almost wanted to laugh at his little brother's reaction but he was cut off by the blonde German's screech of protest.

"_Bruder_!" Said German screeched as his head perked up. Ludwig then felt something tug his sleeve and turned his head swiftly to see Feliciano clutching on his green button down shirt. The Italian's large brown eyes stared into his very soul with beads of tears forming on its corners, a common sign that told Ludwig that his Italian boyfriend was going to break down again. He always cried over such trivial things, Ludwig never knew why. It would forever remain a mystery, he thought. Ludwig knew that the only times Feliciano's eyes would open his eyes widely is when he is either extremely happy or unbearably sad.

"Lu-Luddy…you don't like what I do…?" His voice was slightly cracked and it had a hint of sadness in it. Ludwig's sky blue eyes widened in surprise and motioned to comfort the Italian, but was stopped by a loud "eeeeh?!" from Lovino. The said Italian's jaw dropped comically and he glared at the blonde German. His eyes began to fill with pure hatred and fury.

"Y-You…_did _sleep with _mi_ _fratello_! Feliciano Veneziano Vargas! I can't believe you, goddammit! You fucking slept with this…this…damned fucking potato bastard!" Lovino screeched. His voice was husky, like a blade being scraped against a stone. Feliciano wailed and hugged Ludwig's arm as he hid behind the German. Ludwig shushed the babyish Italian until Lovino stopped cussing. After all those heart-piercing words, Feliciano's eyelids slowly rose until it was half open, like always and smiled at his brother like a child who had just done a good job in the bathroom.

"Ve…but Lovi, I was going to say 'massage'. What's wrong with that?" He asked innocently. Gilbert's attention drew back to Lovino, who was now gawking at the other Italian. His face darkened into another shade of red and Gilbert could sense the heat creeping up the Italian's neck. Lovino forced his mouth to release a few words trapped in his mind, but all that came out were ridiculous stutters and grumbles. Gilbert's cheeks puffed with muffled laughter but eventually, he let out a fit of giggles and eventually, cackles.

"Kesesesese~! _Gott_, Lovi…get your mind out of the gutter!" Said Prussian huffed in the middle of his giggle fit. Lovino turned utterly red and pulled out the half-eaten tomato he had been eating during the landing. The grouchy Italian pulled his elbow up and back and as if on cue, slammed the tomato in Gilbert's mouth at the right moment. The albino squeaked in surprise and muffled curses brushed past his tomato-stained lips.

"Yoo vucking sod ovv a butch!" He tried to shout as he chewed and attempted to spit out the fruit despite the fact they were still inside the airport. Lovino's eyes widened and scampered for his dear life into the crowd as he obviously screamed "DAMNED MANIAC ON THE LOOSE!" even though Gilbert neither tried to attack him nor run after him. Even though he looked like he was a tough man, Lovino was actually a pretty cowardly guy, a few people mentioned back in the APH Gazette. Gilbert penetrated the fruit to slide down his throat and once that deed was done, he glanced around the airport in search for a certain Canadian.

"_Bruder_…we'll be outside fixing the a multi-colored van. Meet us in five minutes…" Ludwig said before ramming himself into the crowd with Feliciano on his tail, who was in fact trying his best to drag Lovino's suitcase, and practically flunking at it. Gilbert resumed his search and found Matthew, the cross dresser sitting on the end of a row of seats in the waiting area, with a cell phone in hand. His backpack was also shifting every five minutes. Can't Kuma stay still for a while? Gilbert's scowl softened into a straight line and trekked towards the blonde. The Canadian didn't seem to notice the albino and just stared at his gadget's screen. Out of the blue, the phone swiftly slid away from his fingers and was gripped in Gilbert's hand. Matthew's mouth dropped and immediately stood up and tried to retrieve it.

"Give it back, eh!" He said in a shushed tone and attempted to hit Gilbert's arm, but to the albino, it felt like his arm was being hit by only a pillow. Gilbert scanned the screen and arched an eyebrow before tossing the phone up in the air. Matthew could feel the hair on his arms rise for some kind of imaginary dramatic national anthem and rushed to catch the gadget and successfully doing so.

"…So…who's Alfred?" Gilbert asked casually. Matthew stared at him, his face barely showing any emotion but confusion. He knew a guy like Gilbert would never be interested in any of his relationships. But, Matthew still opened his mouth to answer.

"He's my missing brother." Matthew said calmly. Gilbert pursed his lips and stared at Matthew.

"Oh…the reason why we're here? You know…that's not awesome…you don't know where in the world is your bro is…damn." Gilbert stated. Matthew frowned at him and rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh! So you're saying I should've said 'we're going to play where in the world is Alfred F. Jones?!'" Matthew almost shrieked in anger. Whenever someone brought up a topic about Alfred's disappearance, the blonde could always feel his blood boil like molten lava threatening to overflow out of a volcano. It was never his fault his idiot brother left him and didn't care to tell Matthew his locations. But Matthew regret letting his brother run off to do God knows what in some godforsaken city in this crazy world. Gilbert stared at the Canadian and sat down next to him. The albino placed a comforting hand on Matthew's back and began to rub it in circles.

"…_traurig_…it's just that it's a bit…dangerous here but…back to the topic. That guy, Alfred, your bro…he's a douche for not contacting you, but don't worry, Mattie. I'm pretty sure he's somewhere around…you may never know! He could be here right now!" Gilbert assured. Matthew sniffled and looked up at the albino, who stopped rubbing his back in a comforting manner.

"I never thought I would say this...especially to you but…_Merci_…" Matthew said quietly and motioned to grab his luggage that sat on the floor in front of him. Gilbert turned to the bag and swiftly beat Matthew to the handle and lifted it up, letting the bag dangle from his hand. Matthew stared up at him in surprise. His backpack shifted once more before settling down.

"I'll take this. Lutz and Feli are outside by a rainbow van." Gilbert gave the Canadian a toothy smirk and went off. Matthew stared blankly and could feel his pale face turn slightly red at Gilbert's actions. The latter shook his head a bit, attempting to shake off the blush as well, but barely succeeded. Matthew took a deep breath and walked towards the airport's exit without noticing the man with black hair and multi-colored streaks staring at him. The man pushed something closer to his ear, possibly an earphonw and snapped a photo of Matthew, unbeknownst to him that he was taking a picture of a man.

"Target acquired, boss. By the way…she's hot, what're you gonna do to her?" He asked casually.

"…_You'll find out soon…_" his "boss" replied.

* * *

Matthew wheezed as he pushed open the door and dragged his trolley outside the airport before the door could hit his arm. He pulled the luggage out of the door and rested his hands on his knees. The heels he wore were very uncomfortable; he thought a bit angrily, why do people even wear those damned pain makers? Matthew fixed his posture and glanced around the parking lot and his eyes locked on a large van with multi-colored paint splatters on it, like vans that were owned by hippies during the 70's. On top of the van, Feliciano (who was standing) caught sight of the cross dresser and waved enthusiastically at Matthew.

"Yoo hoo! Mattea! Over he- wha! _Doitsu_!" The Italian's foot lost balance and sent Feliciano tumbling off the van's hood. Matthew's eyes widened and attempted to run towards the van and help the Italian, but he stopped once he saw Ludwig catch Feliciano and carry him in a bridal-style position. It was quite sweet, actually, despite the fact that they were both men and every body sent glances at them.

"Ve~! _Grazie_, Luddy!" Feliciano cried out loudly as he gave Ludwig a peck on the cheek, causing the German to ridiculously turn red. Matthew could also feel his face heat up as he froze on his spot right outside the airport's exit. Did they have no shame? Well, Ludwig did but, what was it to Matthew? He sighed and pulled his trolley towards the van. The closer he went towards the vehicle, the more he could see Lovino yelling from the car's back. Damn, can't that guy ever shut up when he's with Feliciano? Poor Ludwig, having to deal with Lovino even though now he has to deal with Gilbert. Matthew flipped open his phone and dialed Gilbert's number. (which he learned about during their awkward flight to Germany)

_To: Jerk-Ass Albino_

_From: Matthew W._

_Lovino's already in the van, find Francy Francis and let's go. _

Once the message was sent, Matthew rushed towards the van and was immediately greeted by Feliciano, who seemed to be in progress of getting over his fall off the van. It was one hell of a high van. Matthew would be traumatized if he ever fell of such a high van.

"Oh, _Ciao_, Mattea!" He smiled brightly that it almost blinded Matthew. The Canadian smiled back as he squinted.

"Hello, Feliciano. Are you alright?" He asked as he tried to make his voice as girly as possibly. Feliciano just smiled and nodded, while giving Ludwig a short glance. Matthew laughed. "You really love him, eh?"

"_Si_! He's a bit scary, but he's actually a nice, sweet, strong and more. I actually had to marry a _bella ragazza_ to stay here with him! She was pretty, but she was soooooo scary! It was like I was married to the woman that comes out of the well! Ve…all I know about her was that she didn't come out of the well to eat pasta…! What if she comes back?! Oh no…" he babbled on. Matthew could feel a smile tug on his lips. It was nice to talk to someone who can keep the conversation going, but after a few moments of listening to Feliciano babble about, he was starting to think it was a bit annoying and went off to think for himself.

"Marry her, huh?" He murmured, but Feliciano seemed like he heard the soft mutter of words.

"Oh…I didn't think you'd still be here...Anyway! Those bags look heavy, let me help!" Feliciano trekked towards the trolley and Matthew let go of its handle. Once Feliciano had grabbed the handle, he forced himself to drag the trolley, but it was a wonder that it only moved a millimeter and Feliciano was already sweating as if he had run 20 laps during a race.

"Wow! This is heavy! How could a _ragazza_ like you carry this?! Ve~ Luddy, help me please!" Feliciano whined. Ludwig just sighed and walked over to grab the bag. Matthew softly thanked the duo and headed off towards the vehicle's open door, but before he could even enter, a pair of large hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back, causing him to hit a well-built chest.

"Kesesese…nice van, West!" Gilbert said as he stared at the van. "I didn't know you repainted it that much! It's awesome! Not as awesome as me though, but still, awesome design!" He shrieked and rammed himself into the van. Francis strutted past Matthew and the Canadian caught sight of the red hand mark on his face. He seemed a little dazed though.

"Ah…_Mathieu_, if only you were a real girl…I wouldn't have gotten slapped today." Francis moaned and ghosted into the van. After a few seconds, Matthew realized the van was running out of good seats and went rushing inside. But, the thing is that, the van was already filled with idiots.

"Everyone okay back there?" Ludwig asked.

"Are you fucking blind, you potato bastard?! Can't you see we're all cramped here?! Anyway, Feli, what the fuck died in here?!"

"VE?! SOMETHING _DIED_ IN HERE?! IS THERE A GHOST, LUDWIG?" Feliciano cried.

"Nein!"

"_Nine_ ghosts?! WAAAH!"

"Gil, that's not a handle…EEP!"

"It's not?! Oh wait…it's not…it's…oh…OH!" Gilbert said, dumbfounded and blushed profusely.

"Oh…Gilbert…my ass isn't a pillow…but it's _so_ soft, no?_ Honhonhon_…"

"Everyone…just shut _up_…please shut up…" Matthew chanted softly.

"Hey…is there fish here?" A familiar voice asked from Matthew's backpack, everyone stopped on their tracks. Matthew got his wish; everyone shut the fuck up.

* * *

"Oh…Mattea, he's so cute!" Feliciano said as he ruffled Kumajirou's fur. The trip towards Konigstein wasn't exactly the best. Lovino was snoozing in the back of the car. His snors kept everyone awake during the whole trip (Except for Gilbert and Feliciano). Who knew he could snore so loudly? Francis was also in the back, reading a few magazines out of boredom. ("DON'T READ THOSE!" Ludwig shrieked. It was so loud that it scared the German poultry out of the trees.) Gilbert was asleep too, except his foot kept colliding with Matthew's leg and stomach. In the front, Ludwig drove quietly and Feliciano played with Kumajirou's hair (slightly annoying the mammal.)

"Feli, I think Kumasantino needs a nap." Matthew yawned loudly. Feliciano stopped petting the bear's head and frowned, but his smile returned instantly. Before Matthew knew it, Feliciano reached behind and held out the white-haired bear.

"Ve~ you might be right…here you go." Matthew gently took Kumajirou into his hands gently re-entered the bear in his backpack. It was a wonder how he could survive in there. Gilbert groaned and his eyes slowly opened until they were half open. He turned to Matthew to see what the Canadian was doing, but his vision was still blurry from sleeping.

"Hey, why do you keep forgetting that damned thing's name?" He asked grouchily. Matthew felt his shoulder ascend into a shrug.

"I dunno…he always forgets me, so why bother?" Matthew replied nonchalantly. Gilbert hummed for a moment and his lips curled upward into a mischievous grin. Matthew knew that was a sign saying something awfully crazy was going to happen or it was a sign that said Gilbert was going to do something utterly stupid again.

"Mattie, let's play a game…whoever makes up the longest name for Kuma-what's-his-name in 5 minutes wins something from the loser…deal?" He proposed. Matthew scoffed. He was right, the idea _was_ incredibly stupid.

"Gilbert, that's ridiculous!" He retorted. Gilbert cackled again.

"Come on! It's an awesome game! I'll start…" He stated. Matthew rubbed his head and stared up at Gilbert.

"Gilbert, you're an idi-"

"**KUMALASHIKABOOKANGKANGPAPAMA NTOOTAKALAKOO**! Ha! I'm so awesome!" Gilbert shrieked. Matthew grumbled and took a deep breath.

"**KUMOKAZOBEANOPAKYULAGUPANIGG AMMAGAYSANPALAMAPLEMAN**! I'm the winner!" Matthew panted.

"**KUKUPICKABINGOCHALAJAKAPARTA THISISASPARTAGILBERTISAWESOM EKESESESE-**"Gilbert blabbered while shaking his head and pretending to dance in his seat. Matthew stared at him as if the albino had grown a second head and had given birth to another dumbass, thinking "Why am I with this idiot?" "**SUCKALOSAMADIKA-**"

"GODDAMMIT, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Before the duo knew it, a hollow book was slammed on Gilbert's head, shutting him up and Lovino held up the novelty defensively, checking if the Prussian was still moving. Fortunately, he was, but unfortunately, he was going to wake up again and start something idiotic. Matthew scooted towards the Prussian and looked up at Lovino.

"Thank you." He muttered.

"Don't mention it." The South Italian grumbled and returned to his siesta. Matthew turned back to Gilbert and ruffled his now messed up silver hair. He had to admit that Gilbert was a bit cute when his mouth was shut tight. Matthew scooted backwards as he felt his face heat up. He shouldn't be thinking of those things. He was a guy, for chrissake! He was a guy, not a real girl. He was a guy in a girl suit, he told himself repeatedly in his mind. He looked back at Gilbert and his face softened when he saw the small smile on the albino's face. Matthew could feel his lips tug into a smile.

_Why's he smiling? He was just hit by a hollow book! Weirdo…_

Suddenly, the van's engine roared and Matthew noticed that Ludwig looked a bit panicked. He stomped on the van's accelerator and turned the keys. Feliciano looked at the blonde German with a confused expression on his face. It was kind of cute.

"Oh, _Gott_…not now!" He yelped. Matthew raised an eyebrow.

"Why? What's going on?" Said Canadian asked softly. Ludwig didn't seem to hear Matthew since he just focused on the accelerator. The German looked over his shoulder and took a deep breath.

"Mattea, wake everyone up and we'll help get the luggage…we're taking a ferry. Fortunately, we're near the ferry station…we'll just have to walk there for a few minutes." He commanded. Matthew nodded and shook everyone awake. Francis put down the magazine and hopped off the van with his things (and one of Ludwig's magazines) while the Canadian had to drag Lovino and Gilbert (who refused to wake up) out of the damned van with his trolley. Ludwig carried all of the baggage while Feliciano just stood there. Before leaving the van there, Ludwig locked the doors and they took off.

"Ugh…Matthew? Why the fuck are you carrying me…?" Lovino groaned softly, a little drowsy too. Matthew frowned and shushed him as he set the Italian down on his feet. He looked at Gilbert and hung the Prussian's arm on the base of his nape. Gilbert was warm, that was the first thing that entered Matthew's mind as the Prussian slept peacefully. Matthew wasn't the strongest in the office, but at he had enough strength to carry Gilbert.

"_Bruder_, wake up!" Ludwig shouted. Gilbert jolted up, but ended up crashing to the ground, face first. Matthew let out a yelp and stared at Gilbert in shock.

"Mattie…what the fuck? My poor awesome face!" He grumbled into the ground. Matthew sighed and helped the albino up. Gilbert's scowl deepened as he dusted off the soil that hung on the tip of his pale nose. Matthew wiped the bead of sweat that dribbled down his head. Never had he dealt with such a child. After a few more minutes, they finally reached the docks and Gilbert froze as they got on one of the boats. Matthew stared at the Prussian from behind.

"Well…go on!" Matthew hissed. Gilbert looked at the water and back at the ramp.

"I'm not gonna step on that shit." He complained, holding back the line. Matthew swiftly turned his head and met eyes with many annoyed people. The Canadian sighed and pushed Gilbert forward, causing the albino to stumble onto the ramp.

"Whoa…fuck…I told you, I ain't steppin' on that shit." Gilbert repeated.

"Don't have to; see you in a few days." Matthew said as he tried to pass by Gilbert, but was stopped once he felt the albino's hand clutch his hoodie. "Hey, Goldie, I'm not a fish. I can't swim too!"

"What the hell's your problem, Gilbert? So what if you can't swim, just walk on it and let's get this over with!" Matthew asked. Gilbert swallowed.

"Dude…If I fall, I'll hump you in my ghost form."

"JUST GO!" Matthew almost shrieked. Gilbert could feel Matthew gently push his back to get through the ramp. Every two seconds, Gilbert took a step forward and Matthew would always groan along with the rest of the citizens waiting behind them. Once Gilbert felt the boat's floor, the albino smiled weakly and turned to look at Matthew. The people behind them cheered in relief.

"I did it! I'm so awesome!" He cheered.

"Yeah…and I'm an old man now…let's go!" Matthew said as he ran towards the whole family. Gilbert grumbled and rubbed his head. Never had he dealt with someone like Matthew. Once the Canadian caught up with gang, he sat on the nearest available seat which was a 3 seats behind Lovino and Feliciano's chairs. Matthew wiped a bead of sweat and stared out the window. It was definitely going to be a rather long trip, he thought to himself. He looked around the boat and found Gilbert, sitting alone on the other side of the ship with his headphones plugged in.

* * *

"We're here." Matthew jolted awake at the feeling of someone shaking his shoulder. He looked up and found Ludwig, carrying one of Gilbert's things. Gilbert stood beside his brother while he held on his other bags. It seemed as if he had just been woken as well. Feliciano stood in front of the ferry's entrance and walked outside while Francis spoke to him. Matthew hoped Francis won't assault the Italian and guessed if Lovino was already waiting outside. Probably, he was. The Canadian looked out and found himself staring at a hill with a few houses standing on its base.

Matthew stood up and yawned as he dragged his luggage. After pushing Gilbert past the ramp, Matthew's eyes widened at the sight. There was a small town a few minutes away from the docks and beside the town was a large hill. So…this was Gilbert's home. It looks a bit too peaceful for Gilbert, Matthew thought as he snickered. He could imagine Gilbert being the only one shrieking in the middle of the night. The town was very quiet and only a few people were outside, either hanging up clothes, working or they were children who yearned to play out in the sun. The rays of the sun hit Matthew's face and made it glow. The atmosphere was comfortable and everything was peaceful. It made Matthew feel light-headed.

"Ludwig, does Toni still live here?" Francis asked as he flipped his hair dramatically. Ludwig nodded and pointed at the top of the small hill next to the larger one. Gilbert grinned widely and rushed to Francis' side.

"His farm is located on the top of that hill…you'll need a truck to get there, though…" Ludwig advised. Gilbert hummed and tapped Francis' shoulder.

"I'll just use _großvater'_s truck." He shrugged. Francis nodded and turned to Ludwig, who was running after Feliciano, Lovino and Matthew. The Bad Touch Trio's remaining duo did the same until they reached a large farm house that was located on the large hill's base. Matthew and Lovino stared in awe as they saw the mansion-like house. The house was three stories high and its exterior walls were painted in a beige and white color. Through the large window on the ground floor, Gilbert could see his grandfather sitting by the large dining table, reading a catalogue. The small windows on the second floor were shielded by blue curtains and next to the house was a large garage with enough space for two cars. In one of the slots, a blue truck was positioned on top of it.

Matthew took a gently step on the creaky floorboards and flinched as it did creak. Feliciano rushed to the white glass door and knocked on it gently to prevent the multi-colored glass from breaking.

"Whoa…I gotta tell ya…this is one big fucking house…" Lovino commented. Matthew and Francis stifled a giggle and slowly walked inside. The living room, dining room and kitchen were all connected and the walls were now painted yellow, while the floors were now white tiles. On the left side of the floor, a brown couch sat in the middle of the room with a large piece of cloth hanging on it. In front of the chairs was a flat-screen TV and in between was a shiny coffee table that had a small vase resting on it.

On a few corners of the room, a small potted plant stood giving the house a little decoration. On the right side of the room, there was a spotless kitchen with shining counters, a double-door refrigerator, and squeaky clean sink. In the middle of the kitchen was a large counter with barstools surrounding the counters and on one of the barstools, a man with long blonde hair sat quietly while reading a catalogue.

"_Großvater_!" Gilbert cheered as he ran to his grandfather and attempted to hug the youthful elder. The man looked up from the catalogue and pushed Gilbert away from him. Matthew chuckled at the sight of Gilbert squirming and his grandfather pushing him away. Mr. Beilschmidt looked at Matthew, who instantly stopped giggling.

"Gilbert, mind introducing me?" He asked emotionlessly. Gilbert stopped squirming and turned to Matthew. The albino fixed his posture and pulled Matthew closer to him. Matthew felt a blush creep up his neck as Gilbert pulled him closer until his head leaned on Gilbert's chest. He pulled up his hands and covered half of his face to prevent Mr. Beilschmidt and Gilbert from noticing his blush.

"_G-Großvater_…this is Mattea Williams…she's my fiancée. B-Birdie…this is Aldrich Beilschmidt…my old man…" Gilbert stammered, hugging Matthew tighter. Matthew was sure that his face was already as red as a tomato. Aldric stared at him for a few moments and held out his large hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mattea." He said calmly. Matthew took the hand and tried his best to smile as he shook the man's hand.

"T-The pleasure's all m-mine…" he stammered. Aldric nodded and stood up as he fumbled through his pockets. Gilbert stared at his hands and watched as his grandfather took out a single key that was attached to a small key ring.

"Antonio wants you to go to his farm in an hour…here's the key to the truck and don't crash it. He says it's a surprise too so, don't go asking me what's going on." Aldric said as he stood up and walked towards a large staircase. Matthew let out a shaky sigh. The man was creepy, he thought. Gilbert looked at Francis gleefully and they high-fived.

"Awesome! The Bad Touch Trio is going to be back in action!" Gilbert said. Francis nodded.

"_Oui_; finally, after all those years! Hey, are you three going to come with us?" Francis asked Ludwig, Feliciano and Lovino, who were now lounging in the living room. Ludwig looked up from his book, Feliciano looked up from the TV, and Lovino huddled under the coffee table. As if he's not going to be found if he hides in such an obvious place.

"_Si_, alright!" Feliciano chided.

"I guess it would be alright." Ludwig agreed.

"Fuck no." Lovino grumbled. Francis stared at Lovino for a few seconds before turning to Gilbert, who still held Matthew in his embrace. Matthew didn't seem to be fighting back, so Francis just ignored the facts.

"…_Oui_…everyone is going."

A loud bang was heard and everyone turned to the coffee table where Lovino's head was resting while his free hand rubbed the back of his head. The poor guy's head was swelling a bit too. Ouch. The grouchy Italian groggily stood up and walked towards Francis, who just smirked.

"You fucking French bastard! There's no way in fucking hell I'll go to a party that involves that fucking albino bastard!" Lovino growled at Francis' face. Francis smiled and pinched Lovino's chin, causing him to yelp.

"Oh, _mon cher_, you know what they say…the more you hate, the more you love~" Said Frenchman smiled. Lovino pushed away the Frenchman and looked at Feliciano for support. Feliciano jolted up and turned to the television as if nothing happened and ignored the whole scene. Lovino growled and slapped his palm on his forehead.

"Fine…I'll go to that damned party! But under one condition, stay the fuck away from me, Frenchman." Lovino glared. Francis frowned.

"Hmmm…Kill joy." He retorted. Gilbert cleared his throat and caught everyone's attention. Matthew placed his hands on Gilbert's side and pushed himself away from the Prussian. His face was still beet red and he still felt very hot. Gilbert dangled the small key in front of everyone and headed towards the garage door in the kitchen.

"Come on…I can't wait to see that damned idiot!" Gilbert said as he dashed off and slammed the door open. Francis laughed and ran after his best friend. Ludwig and Feliciano stared at each other and frowned.

"I doubt we can fit in the truck…" Ludwig protested. Feliciano just nodded until Gilbert's head poked back inside the room.

"Oh no worries…Lovino can stay in the back of the truck. Lutz, you stay with the grouchy nut and we'll get Feli and Mattie in the back seats, kaaay?" Said Prussian proposed with a large grin. Ludwig rested his forehead on his hand and sighed. How did Mattea fall for such an immature freeloader? He thought. Matthew frowned and walked towards the wide open garage door but before he could enter the said garage, he glanced back at Feliciano and Ludwig. Feliciano switched off the television and frowned at the Canadian.

"Ve~ as much as I want to come, I think I'd rather stay here…" He sighed. Lovino turned to his brother and gave off a confused and slightly angered aura. Matthew couldn't help it, but he felt the aura make his skin crawl.

"What?! _Fratello_! If you're not going then, I'm most certainly not going as well!" The South Italian barked. Feliciano shook his head and gave Lovino a wide smile.

"No, I think _you _should go. It would be nice to have more friends, fratello! Try getting out of the house for a bit. Ever since we were kids no one would bother to go near you." Feliciano pointed out. Matthew cleared his throat.

"I agree, Lovino…many editors and publishers in the APH Gazette mentioned that they never liked to deal with you. Try loosening up, eh?" Matthew suggested. Lovino stared at the blonde for a few mere seconds and puffed his cheeks.

"Gah…fine! Goddammit, Feli…you better wish I have a good time there." Lovino seethed and stomped into the car. Ludwig frowned at the grumpy Italian and turned to Matthew, who just stared at the open door that led to the garage. The sound of a car engine starting up filled the silence and Matthew looked back at Ludwig.

"I'll stay here with Feliciano. Antonio's a nice man _und_ I think you'll get along just fine." Ludwig added as he sat down beside Feliciano on the couch. Matthew nodded and rushed towards the garage. Suddenly, he was greeted by a blue truck that trembled as the engine revved. Gilbert sat on the driver's seat and knocked on the passenger seat's window, where Francis was seated.

"Get in the car, ariba; ariba; andare; andare!" Gilbert yelled. Matthew scowled and stomped into the back seat with Lovino, who looked utterly bored. The car began to drive out of the garage and into the drive way. Matthew looked around the town and the truck started to speed up a little as he drove up the nearby hill. Matthew could hear Gilbert stomp on the brake and noticed the panicked look on his face.

"I can't stop the car!" He shrieked. Matthew's eyes widened as the truck started to go faster up the hill. Lovino's eyes snapped open and he started screaming.

"OH FUCK! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO THIS FUCKING PARTY! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIE!" He shrieked. Matthew stared at him, utterly shocked. That was the first time he saw Lovino in such a panicked state. The thought of Gilbert unable to stop the car restrained Matthew from bursting into a fit of laughs. The car finally reached the top of the hill and Matthew could see the view of a large field with a farmhouse on a cliff. Assorted lights shone from the windows, a sign that there was a party. As The sounds of chickens clucking filled his ears and the car abruptly stopped. Gilbert and Francis broke the shocking silence with their laughs.

"T-That…WAS NOT FUNNY, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!" Lovino cried, his face was red with embarrassment. Matthew barged out of the car and fell on the high grasses. His heard was pounding and he was sweating like a pig. Tears were forming on the corners of his eyes as he watched the sky turn dark blue with a mixture of orange from the sunset. From the truck, Francis watched Matthew as the young cross dresser lay on the grass, sobbing slowly and softly.

"Um…Gilbert, I think you went too far." The Frenchman said as he pointed through the window. Gilbert peeked through the window at the sight of Matthew, just lying there as if he was willing to be taken away by the heavens. He sighed and got out of the car. He approached the Canadian, but didn't dare to speak. He found himself speechless. Matthew never laughed at his jokes, but he never cried. Gilbert gulped and sat next to Matthew.

"H-Hey…" He greeted lamely. Matthew didn't reply and just let the tears dribble down his head.

"O-Okay…I went out of line. I'm sorry, will you just please…act as my date for these past few weeks." Gilbert begged. Matthew didn't even give him a glance, but opened his mouth to respond.

"Under one condition…Don't talk to me unless it's very urgent." Matthew grumbled as he stood up and walked towards the farmhouse. Gilbert sat there, paralyzed at Matthew's response, and he sighed. Why did it have to end like that? He was such an idiot. (An awesome idiot, he tried to lighten himself up, but it barely had an effect.) The car door opened and Francis jumped off the truck and pulled Gilbert up.

"Don't worry, _mon ami _you'll get over it." He assured. Gilbert nodded and followed Matthew to the door. Once they reached the porch, the sounds of people chatting and walking around filled the silent atmosphere. Matthew knocked on the door and slowly opened it. The assorted lights almost blinded them all and Lovino hissed. Gilbert looked at Francis and whistled. There was a decent amount of people there. They were dancing, drinking and some just lounged in the sitting area, lame-o's, Gilbert snickered.

"Come on, Churro boy should be here somewhere." He gestured. Matthew rammed himself into the crowd in search for a vacant place to sit while Gilbert and Francis parted ways to look for this Antonio person. Beside Matthew was Lovino who kept on grumbling as he bumped into the people, possibly on purpose.

"Don't worry, Lovino, we'll find some chairs soon." Matthew assured. Lovino kept silent for once, but his scowl was still plastered on his face. Matthew sighed and kept going on-wards. From afar, he could see two vacant chairs and felt overjoyed, but the temporary happiness faded as soon as someone had bumped into him.

"Ah!" He yelped.

"Whoa, sorry, dude!" The stranger yelled. Matthew froze on his spot as he recognized the voice's tone and slowly turned his head to see who the stranger was, but all he could see was a man with strawberry blonde hair and a brown jacket rush into the crowd. Matthew could feel his eyes widen even more. There was only one person he knew of with that hair color and a jacket with a large '50' in the back.

"Al…fred?"

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**Random Q-Time!**

Anybody here watch NCIS? Told you this was random.

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_Haaaa~! Sorry for the delay! Daaaaamn, that's one long chapter. I hope this made up for the long delay; writer's block and whatnot. Anyway, I noticed a lot of you had questions…I tried to answer as much questions in this chapter as best as I could…sorry if wasn't able to answer a few of the questions. If you still have unanswered questions, feel free to PM me or Review and I'll either write down your answers here or I'll PM you back…take your pick. Oh yeah…don't worry, I'LL ADD THE FRUK! It was kinda hard for me to keep all the character in this story without being the center of attention or ignored...sorry. I'm that slow..._

_Anyway, good things have been happening recently. I got a little time to write this and HA HA! I FINISHED CHAPTER 5! My History Teacher now calls me Canada and calls Germany's and my new Hetalian recruit, Belarus. O_O And recently, I've decided to try puckering up the courage and ask our Sweden if he has a loud and annoying frienemy for a fantasy role play. Support me please! He's a bit scary to talk to sometimes… _

_Anyway, if there are any mistakes and weirdly spelled words in this chapter, don't you dare ignore it. Tell me and I will execute it with my bunnies. Flames will be used for bonfires. Remember, this story is not Beta'ed! Bear with me!_

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**Translations: **

_Nein – (German) No_

_Bruder – (German) Brother_

_Mi Fratello – (Italian) My Brother_

_Gott – (German) God_

_Traurig – (German) Sorry_

_Merci – (French) Thank You_

_Doitsu – (Japanese) (I know all of you already know this but…) Germany_

_Grazie – (Italian) Thank you_

_Ciao – (Italian) Hello/Goodbye_

_Bella Ragazza – (Italian) Beautiful Girl_

_Ragazza – (Italian) Girl_

_Großvater – (German) Grandfather_

_Oui – (French) Yes_

_Si – (Italian) Yes_

_Mon Cher – (French) My Love_

_Und – (German) And_

_Mon Ami – (French) My Friend_

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**Thanks a bunch for reading this Chapter!  
**


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